Agility

Ozan the useless.

Look for the guy wearing orange.

Look for the guy wearing orange.

The next quest I started was called “Stolen Hearts” and to begin I had to find Ozan, one fo the fellows I helped defeat the troll general with in the tutorial. So the deal here is his friend was acting super sketchy and he fears he may have joined one of the Daynor gangs.

After I posed as a gang member to infiltrate the gang’s hideout, I found that Ozan friend, Khnum, was actually the leader/founder. Hmm, fancy that. Oh and I learned he had three of his kronies out kidnapping someone, but that is for later. Before Khnum would fully accept me in his gang I had to prove I was a true “Skull” by finding the “Skull” headquarters. Fair enough, old man.

I went top-side and told Ozan everything like the snitch I am. Then we stalked Khnum to HQ and ambushed him there to question him about the shenanigans going down with that whole kidnapping schpeal. At first, we thought we wouldn’t be able to break him but once we threatened to take away his food. HA! Men. So easily swayed when food is involved.

Anyway, moving on.

There we were interrogating hm when out of nowhere this Amazonian-looking woman brandishes a cross-bow at us. Well. I don’t know who invited her but NOT COOL, BRO. We were obviously in the middle of in interrogation, here!

Leela. Definitely NOT a princess in disguise. Definitely NOT an Aladdin reference.

Leela. Definitely NOT a princess in disguise. Definitely NOT an Aladdin reference.

Turns out she was there on business of her own and just so happened to spot Ozan, and knowing he was a bandit/thief/bad guy followed him. It took Ozan a minute but he soon saw through her disguise. She was Leela, daughter of Osman the spymaster of Al Kharid; they had known one another before Ozan was exiled. Once we figured that whole thing out, our focus was back on Khnum. Well, the kidnapping thing we were discussing earlier ended up being Prince Ali (Another Aladdin reference?), the prince of Al Kharid and probably the reason why the Al Kharid palace was on lockdown last time I ventured that far east. Yeah. to get back at his former empolyers (Khnum as once a palace guard), Khnum had kidnapped the prince but only after the promised pay through this mysterious Lady Keli.

We only have so much time before Lady  Keli sails away with the prince, so after locking Khnum up in his HQ we book it south to the shore just in time for Lady keli to deliver a lovely little monologue while threatening to kill prince Ali if we don’t deliver the Emir’s heart. Jeez, I really hope this isn’t a Snow White reference.

When we refused, she possessed the henchmen helping her with her crazy lady-demon-magic and made them attack Ozan, Leela, and me. This is the part I felt was a bit comical. For some reason, these “great” warriors could not even make a dent in these guys’ health bars. I had to kill the one that was attacking me and then go save the others. Really? The only reason I got these two was for chit-chatting purposes?! So I killed off the bad guys and saved the day but, alas, the prince was still missing so Ozan and I headed down to Al Kharid to try and talk to the emir and the spymaster.

Good thing my agility is so high!

Good thing my agility is so high!

Once we got there, the guard wouldn’t let us into the palace even when we fully explained the threat. Dude. Seriously. Your prince is missing and there is business to be done! So we had to go the Ozan-route, meaning we had to Assassin’s Creed our way into the building by leading from house to house, shimmying across roofs and down awnings.

When passing one of the castle windows we overheard a conversation between the emir, Osman, Hassan, and a Menaphos emissary: Jabari. They are trying to solidify peace between the two nations; however, the emir is dying and the prince is missing. If there is no one to hold the throne, Menaphos will take over. You can imagine our frustration when we hear this due to the fact that a couple of Lady Keli’s cronies were wearing the colors of Menaphos.

From left to right: Jabari, the emir, and Hassan

From left to right: Jabari, the emir, and HassanRS

Eventually Jabari and Hassan leave. When the Emir and Osman are alone they discuss how the emir is dying and how the threat of menaphos is very real and very terrifying if they do now find the prince. The ransom is for the Emir’s heart, when in reality, the emir’s heart stands for a diamond kept in the Emir’s vault. Forunately for us, Ozan knows a way into this vault. There he was been caught once before by Osman and exiled as a boy, at this time, Khnum was also exiled and blamed for the boy’s insolence thus Khnum’s hatred for Ozan.

Once in the vault I looked around in a chest and found a piece of parchment with a sotry on it describing the heart of Het and how I could possibly obtain it. It was all about balance and truth and something about someone being the heaviest in guilt because all the others weighed the same.

Eventually I found the heaviest weight and used it to obtain the diamond. Well, right then we were caught. Osman barged into the vault because by taking the diamond we had set off an alarm. Once Osman hears we had been working with his daughter, his guards are ordered to stand down. We are then forced to give up the diamond and are taken to the Emir who, after we explain the diamond is the only way he can get his son back, exclaims how he will give anything else but the diamond and promptly dies of a “heart attack.” Well.

We aren’t blamed for the death of the Emir, thank god, Ozan is released from exile, and I reap the benefits of completing yet another quest.

Ahhh yeshhh.

Ahhh yeshhh.

Find the shortcut for Stolen Hearts here.

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Categories: Agility, Al Kharid, Draynor, f2p, p2p, Port Sarim, Quests, Stolen Hearts | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Today was a good day for ‘scaping.

I started out by going through some of the daily challenges. You may remember this from the time I buried however-many bones and got some monies. Well, today the challenges were to do the Burthrope obstacle course eight times, string eight short bows, and burn 10 Normal logs. CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.

Burning logs like a boss.

Burning logs like a boss.

Let’s just say, fifteen minutes later I was 3k gps richer and all sorts of experience levels were gained. After that it was kind of boring. I ran over to the Tree Gnome Stronghold to do that obstacle course over there.

Eventually I got bored and since I was in World 1 there were about 300 people mulling about doing their own thing. Off to World 3! Lumbridge was bumpin’! I popped in on a conversation where some girl was complaining about the phrase”YOLO.” I, of course, had to interject stating that it was alright to use the cliché if one were using it ironically. I think the topic came up because there was a guy there by the name of YOLO HOSE. I’m not sure if he meant is to be pronounced like “JOSÉ” or “HOSE” like the garden hose. We just called him YOLO. Someone was emoting themselves to throw sand at him while yelling “Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand!” It was good fun. Eventually, one woman named YogitheBear came up to me and actually thought I was funny. That’s right. Someone enjoyed what I had to say. It was a beautiful moment in Potam history. At one point in time people were mentioning their ages, YOLO was 19 and Yogi was 29. All of the sudden YOLO started getting all hostile toward Yogi. He was bashign her for being 29 and playing RS.

This was my exact facial expression.

What a punk! She can play whatever the hell she wants to. He told her to get a life but she had a husband and a daughter AND she worked full time. I asked YOLO to stop being a troll. Nobody messes with people who think I’m funny. I gotta defend my peoples, guys. He continued on being an ass even though Yogi continued to make valid points. He then tried to pull the, “I’m working so-many nights a week in addition to another job so even though you’re a mother and work full time, you’ve got nothing on me.” Is this kid for cereal?! I just… I can’t even… Ugh. Fine YOLO. I’ll do this dance with you, but I won’t enjoy it.

Ricky was there, too. If you don’t remember him from this post, he’s the salmon-colored short-wearing person with the feather in his hat. We’re bros. But, he forgot about me. Apparently I didn’t make enough of an impression on him. Damn.

Eventually Yogi got tired of YOLO’s pestering and left. YOLO, after finding out he had no one else to bully left as well. I really hope he’s dumb enough to follow someone into the Wildy. After that, the conversation died out until it was just Ricky and I hanging out. We had some pretty decent conversations for RS. I commented on his nice salmon Chubbies and he commented on the fact that I could speak articulately (sometimes a rarity in the gaming world). We were bros once more. I explained how I kinda-sorta knew him but he didn’t remember me because he frequents the populated worlds quite a bit and meets all sorts of people.

From left to right: MickellBerry, RoyalBlonde, Ricky, and Potam

From left to right: MickellBerry, RoyalBlonde, Ricky, and Potam
That random guy in the back never said anything.

I asked him about what his favorite conversation with someone was about an he told me it was about having a four-some with the NPC, Nastroth. Oh and once he found out I was a girl, without fail, he asked me what a vagina looked like. Classic. Real classic. I told him, “a mushy taco.” That shut hm up, real quick-like. Soon our conversation of two increased to three and then four with the addition of two gentlemen named RoyalBlonde and MickellBerry. We exchanged some friendly banter for some time until we decided to move from the left side of the Lumbridge castle gates to the right. There was an entirely new group of people over there having their own conversation oddly enough about tentacle porn. Yeah. RuneScape. Full of weird people talking about weird shit. All. Day. Long.

There was a guy with a giant hand on a stick. Like, what? Yeah.

There was a guy with a giant hand on a stick. Like, what? Yeah.

Soon we were having a party right there on the Lumbridge Castle lawn. There was Rudro12, bearman332 (who loved to talk about poop), Slendahhman, and I Luv Grama. (I asked her if “Grama” stood for grandma or grammar but she never clarified.) Ricky then asked me if I ever tried eating those scented erasers when I was a child, I said no but I did try chapstick. Apparently he was all about those scented candles. People are weird. Slendahhman then began talking about how masturbation was gross and Ricky chimed in saying he frowned upon it. All of the sudden some guy named Pyrastan walked over and was telling us about how he was hotboxing Lumbridge and then challenged everyone to see who was higher. I threw out an idea: whomever could say the most philosophical thing won. Immediately RoyalBlonde was claiming he was the “seeker of a magical placenta” and said, “I live in the placenta.” Well. That happened. Oh, don’t worry the night continues on its way with a guy dressed as a giant chicken named Delph4Jesus. He was imploring everyone to repent and make way for Jesus. After that I had to say goodnight. The chicken got me.

DA KR3W

DA KR3W

 

 

 

 

Categories: Agility, Burthorpe, f2p, Firemaking, Fletching, Lumbridge, p2p, Woodcutting | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

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