Burthorpe

Today was a good day for ‘scaping.

I started out by going through some of the daily challenges. You may remember this from the time I buried however-many bones and got some monies. Well, today the challenges were to do the Burthrope obstacle course eight times, string eight short bows, and burn 10 Normal logs. CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.

Burning logs like a boss.

Burning logs like a boss.

Let’s just say, fifteen minutes later I was 3k gps richer and all sorts of experience levels were gained. After that it was kind of boring. I ran over to the Tree Gnome Stronghold to do that obstacle course over there.

Eventually I got bored and since I was in World 1 there were about 300 people mulling about doing their own thing. Off to World 3! Lumbridge was bumpin’! I popped in on a conversation where some girl was complaining about the phrase”YOLO.” I, of course, had to interject stating that it was alright to use the cliché if one were using it ironically. I think the topic came up because there was a guy there by the name of YOLO HOSE. I’m not sure if he meant is to be pronounced like “JOSÉ” or “HOSE” like the garden hose. We just called him YOLO. Someone was emoting themselves to throw sand at him while yelling “Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand!” It was good fun. Eventually, one woman named YogitheBear came up to me and actually thought I was funny. That’s right. Someone enjoyed what I had to say. It was a beautiful moment in Potam history. At one point in time people were mentioning their ages, YOLO was 19 and Yogi was 29. All of the sudden YOLO started getting all hostile toward Yogi. He was bashign her for being 29 and playing RS.

This was my exact facial expression.

What a punk! She can play whatever the hell she wants to. He told her to get a life but she had a husband and a daughter AND she worked full time. I asked YOLO to stop being a troll. Nobody messes with people who think I’m funny. I gotta defend my peoples, guys. He continued on being an ass even though Yogi continued to make valid points. He then tried to pull the, “I’m working so-many nights a week in addition to another job so even though you’re a mother and work full time, you’ve got nothing on me.” Is this kid for cereal?! I just… I can’t even… Ugh. Fine YOLO. I’ll do this dance with you, but I won’t enjoy it.

Ricky was there, too. If you don’t remember him from this post, he’s the salmon-colored short-wearing person with the feather in his hat. We’re bros. But, he forgot about me. Apparently I didn’t make enough of an impression on him. Damn.

Eventually Yogi got tired of YOLO’s pestering and left. YOLO, after finding out he had no one else to bully left as well. I really hope he’s dumb enough to follow someone into the Wildy. After that, the conversation died out until it was just Ricky and I hanging out. We had some pretty decent conversations for RS. I commented on his nice salmon Chubbies and he commented on the fact that I could speak articulately (sometimes a rarity in the gaming world). We were bros once more. I explained how I kinda-sorta knew him but he didn’t remember me because he frequents the populated worlds quite a bit and meets all sorts of people.

From left to right: MickellBerry, RoyalBlonde, Ricky, and Potam

From left to right: MickellBerry, RoyalBlonde, Ricky, and Potam
That random guy in the back never said anything.

I asked him about what his favorite conversation with someone was about an he told me it was about having a four-some with the NPC, Nastroth. Oh and once he found out I was a girl, without fail, he asked me what a vagina looked like. Classic. Real classic. I told him, “a mushy taco.” That shut hm up, real quick-like. Soon our conversation of two increased to three and then four with the addition of two gentlemen named RoyalBlonde and MickellBerry. We exchanged some friendly banter for some time until we decided to move from the left side of the Lumbridge castle gates to the right. There was an entirely new group of people over there having their own conversation oddly enough about tentacle porn. Yeah. RuneScape. Full of weird people talking about weird shit. All. Day. Long.

There was a guy with a giant hand on a stick. Like, what? Yeah.

There was a guy with a giant hand on a stick. Like, what? Yeah.

Soon we were having a party right there on the Lumbridge Castle lawn. There was Rudro12, bearman332 (who loved to talk about poop), Slendahhman, and I Luv Grama. (I asked her if “Grama” stood for grandma or grammar but she never clarified.) Ricky then asked me if I ever tried eating those scented erasers when I was a child, I said no but I did try chapstick. Apparently he was all about those scented candles. People are weird. Slendahhman then began talking about how masturbation was gross and Ricky chimed in saying he frowned upon it. All of the sudden some guy named Pyrastan walked over and was telling us about how he was hotboxing Lumbridge and then challenged everyone to see who was higher. I threw out an idea: whomever could say the most philosophical thing won. Immediately RoyalBlonde was claiming he was the “seeker of a magical placenta” and said, “I live in the placenta.” Well. That happened. Oh, don’t worry the night continues on its way with a guy dressed as a giant chicken named Delph4Jesus. He was imploring everyone to repent and make way for Jesus. After that I had to say goodnight. The chicken got me.

DA KR3W

DA KR3W

 

 

 

 

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Categories: Agility, Burthorpe, f2p, Firemaking, Fletching, Lumbridge, p2p, Woodcutting | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

The deep desert is still not fun.

Alright guys, I finally got out of that darned desert prison and moved forward in the quest…only to reach yet another road block. It all began when I forced myself to look at things from a different angle. For one, the only PCPs in there were slaves and guards. I couldn’t pose as a guard, I couldn’t fight the guards (they were combat level 50 while I’m a measly combat level 31), so the only option I had was to look like a slave. The one time I wasn’t apprehended by the guards was when I was picking at some of the copper outside so maybe it was when I was wielding my weapons?

BINGO.

AHH YEHH!

I unequipped all of my armor (except for those fancy-shmancy desert robes) and I finally could walk among the peoples of the miner camp unhindered by those rapscallion guards. Hmmm, now what.  continued to look around and I found a couple of key on the table outside my cell: one for the main gate and one for my cell. I went outside and started talking to people again, starting with the slaves. I soon came across one particular male slave who was just so planning a grand escape and needed some help. It took me a couple of tries but I got his handcuffs off and then we were going to trade clothes. (I needed to disguise myself as a slave, disgusting robes and everything to get into the underground mine where I was to find that woman’s daughter.) I thought I was all good and then this male slave decided to get picky; apparently he wanted the entire set of robes. I didn’t have the robe bottoms, only the shirt. Well, fine! Sheesh. I guess you can only try to escape once, so you better do it right.

Since I had the main gate key, I returned to Al Kharid to buy a robe bottom only thing is, is that I couldn’t find one. It took me ages but I finally realized there was a guy named Shantay right next to the entrance to the entrance to the desert. I had walked right past him… Sweet.

So, with my full set of robes I returned to the slave and traded with him. He moved on to freedom as I headed down into the mines, around a labyrinth of slaves to a prison guard who required I bribe him with a certain pineapple. REALLY?! COME ON. This girl is definitely NOT worth all this effort. Seriously.

Those are my slick slave robes. I'm bringing 90s grunge back.

Those are my slick slave robes. I’m bringing 90s grunge back.

Alas, I digress.

Out of the mines I go to the Tenti peoples and attempt to get this “special” pineapple. Well, of course they have something for me to do first. They need some top secret plans hidden away in a chest in the miners’ camp. I need to get them and build this ultimate weapon. COOL, GUYS. Soon enough I’m back at the miner’s camp talking to the captain, trying to distract im enough to let me into that chest. This is one of those parts where you may try everything, multiple times and it still won’t work. Dig deep, everyone, you’ll get through this. I told him there was a Fire for about the fifth time and he finally took me seriously and got a bit worried. BOOM. THOSE PLANS ARE MINE, YOU FOOL.

Alright now back to the Tentis with the plans. Oh, now they want me to build it because they can’t. Ok, so you want these plans that aren’t yours to build a weapon that you don’t have the skills to make… Seems legit. I agreed to build their weapon for them because I guess I don’t have anything better to do.

Check it.

Check it.

Now, I need at least twenty feathers and a bronze bar. I had to return to Shantay to buy some more stuffs, only this time I travelled my magic carpet. I bought the feathers however, he was all out of bronze bars. Ugh.

Lumbridge has a copper and tin mine just South of it so I teleported over there and went to mine some ore, smelted it, and returned via magic carpet to the Tentis. Fortunately they had an anvil that I could use oh but wait, I wasn’t a high enough smelting level to make this weapon.

My thought process:

  • Well, f*** it. That girl can die for all I care.
  • Alright no, come on. I need to level up anyway.
  • Fine.
  • Off to the Burthrope mines!

Thus begins the tedious process of raising my smelting level.

(Hint: before you begin any quest, check the RS wiki to see what you’ll need. Please, for your sanity’s sake.)

 

Categories: Al Kharid, Burthorpe, f2p, Lumbridge, Mining, p2p, Quests, Smelting, Tourist Trap | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Hides on hides on hides.

So I started out today in the Grand Exchange. I checked my “Collection” box and all my items had sold. Yay! Monies! From there , I wasn’t in a very populated world so I decided to focus on my skill levels for this session. I teleported to the Varrock lodestone and made my way south to Beefy Bill’s cow pasture to follow my ten-step cow-killing system. In my chat box I noticed the daily challenge was to bury 12 bones. Well, easy enough for someone who was going to be burying bones anyway and twelve cows later the challenge was mine!

Challenge = Success

Challenge = Success

I had to Google who and where the Imperial Guard Quartermaster ( the IGQ) was (he’s in Burthorpe, by the way). So, I teleported to the Burthorpe lodestone (North of Taverly, this lodestone was automatically activated during the tutorial stages.) and headed South to his little hut/shack looking thing.

Maybe it's more of a lean-to?

Maybe it’s more of a lean-to?

I don’t really understand how it all worked but I do know I leveled up in Prayer, so that’s a good thing. I believe the Daily Challenge is a members only thing since Burthorpe is in a Members only zone. Sorry, free players. The cape you see in the screen shot was a drop from a troll I killed upon teleporting into Burthorpe. This gave me an idea. Since I was already collecting imp hides wouldn’t it be super sweet if I could make my own full imp-hide robe set? YES. YES IT WOULD.

Right next to the IGQ’s tent there is a chest that doubles as a bank. I went in, got all my imp hides out and lo and behold my crafting level wasn’t high enough. Well, great. To even make imp hide gloves I had to be at least level 10.  So, I gave up on that idea and decided to go adventuring throughout the p2p world. Southward, Will Robinson, Southward!

I didn’t make it out of Burthorpe when I passed a cow pasture and a higher level guy with a thorny whip just killing cows for kicks. He wasn’t even picking up any of the drops. Well, I guess once you get to level 100-something cow drops are menial.

Hides on hides on hides.

Hides on hides on hides.

Lightbulb! In order to get your crafting level up you need to craft things. The easiest thing to craft was leather: this guy was not picking up any of the cow hides (which, if you don’t know, can be tanned into hard or soft leather). BOOM. I went back to the bank-chest, emptied my inventory, headed to that small pasture and began my hide-farming.

If you don’t remember from your Tutorial stage, there is a man two steps North or so of this pasture who is more than willing to tan thine hides for you. So, once I had filled my inventory I walked over, had them tanned and I began my crafting expeditions. At first I would only make leather gloves, but as I leveled up I graduated to boots, then chaps, then eventually shields. In order to make a complete imp-hide robe set, I had to get all the way level 20 so I had to make at least 100 shields but in the end it was all worth it!

This is Jack Oval. He's pretty neat.

This is Jack Oval. He’s pretty neat.

To make imp hide robes you need more than just a certain level and the hide itself; you also need thread. I don’t know how I had it but when I checked in my bank, I did! This is why I advised to always keep everything you find for at least the first forty combat levels or so. As you can see in the screen shot to the left, I had already made an imp hide hood along with some imp hide gloves and boots. Already my outfit was looking #SuperSick. I added to hashtag to make it more douchey-sounding because that is what anyone would immediately think when they see someone running around with a bright red hood with horns on it.

Unfortunately, I soon ran out of imp hides and I had to go searching for more imps to brutally murder for their skin. I hadn’t really noticed too many imps around the Taverly/Burthorpe areas in the hours I had spent there but I do remember seeing a couple scuttling about in Lumbridge. 1-2-3  and I teleported to Lumbridge. (See how convenient these dang lodestones are?)

Red mist.

Red mist.

Well, apparently my observations were spot on because the second I arrive, there is an imp right there! Silly imp. Twenty minutes later I had all the hides I needed and viola, my robes were complete. Usually robes will enhance your magic powers but I don’t really care right now because they look cool. Something I noticed when I was leveling my crafting, I gained the ability to make spider silk things.

Well, I’m glad I had been picking up all those spider drops because when I checked my bank on the third floor of Lumbridge castle, I had a few spider silks. They needed thread as well but I got the complete set done. Now I have two sets of robes! However, when I went to try that set on, it wouldn’t let me because I apparently I need to have at least level 20 defense. Ugh. Sorry, peoples, I couldn’t try them on for you. I know for a fact you do not need to be a member to wear imp hide robes so go all out and make your character look awesome!

Next up: The combat triangle and a quest through the desert.

Categories: Burthorpe, Crafting, Defense, f2p, Lumbridge, p2p, Prayer, Quests, Taverly, The Grand Exchange, Tutorial, Varrock | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

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