Lumbridge

FRIENDSHIP.

This guy. I had no idea what his deal was. He wasn't a bot but he did repeat that saying at least fifty times. Oh, and he was brandishing a small horse.

This guy. I had no idea what his deal was. He wasn’t a bot but he did repeat that saying at least fifty times. Oh, and he was brandishing a small horse.

Today I made friends! Like, good friends. Like friends I sat in front of Lumbridge castle with and chit-chatted the night away with. When I first joined in the World 3 social system, I didn’t think it was going to be a very eventful evening, so say the least. There were only about 800 people in the world so the Lumbridge courtyard was nearly empty (meaning there were a couple of groups here and there, but no one really causing a ruckus.) This horse guy was shouting out “Just say neigh to gambling!” over and over and over. When I tried to speak with him to figure out what his problem was he called me a bitch and then proceeded to tell me about how lame RS was.

Excuse me, sir. You’re the one brandishing a mini-horse and bad puns. Anyway, after I told him that he teleported away. Damn. I feel like that would have been a fun conversation if he would have never left.

I was forced to kill an imp out of boredom. Of course, my range levels were so low simply scratching the damned thing took ages. It took so long, in fact, some gentleman came over and stole my fun. He took his giant 2h sword and chopped the thing to bits. I guess he “saved” me even though I was not taking on any damage. My hero?

Soon, I fell into a lovely conversation with Zail, girl in blue robes, Aryan727, and some guy named Doom-something (but he didn’t say very much). Zail was showing off his sweet robes that matched his red eyes when someone wearing straight purple robes and a yellow party hat (another extremely rare/expensive item like the Santa hat). I didn’t quite catch her name but we referred to her a the “Purple People Eater.”

From left to right backrow: "Purple People Eater," King545, Potam, Zail, Aryan727, and BlueDevils Frontrow: Hans (an NPC), and Nbgt56

From left to right backrow: “Purple People Eater,” King545, Potam, Zail, Aryan727, and BlueDevils
Frontrow: Hans (an NPC), and Nbgt56

All of these people were great conversationalists. We all talked about when we first came to RS, Zail had been here since 2004. We also discussed the update since 2007 and the new RS3 soon to be released, the graphics look amazing! However, King and Aryan were non-too pleased. They liked the ore vintage-y feel. The basics, you know? This went on for a few more minutes. Only after he proposed to me and expressed his true love (accompanied by emoted-kisses) then Nbgt56 ventured over to this one kid complaining on the internet. (Hint: if you’re looking for sympathy, DO NOT look for it on the internet. The following will happen.)

Toasty warm.

Toasty warm.

This poor guy was complaining about how he was 14 and got some girl knocked up. Ok, if you’re that age and about to be a dad, go ahead complain all you want but at least make that complaining count by complaining to a therapist. The internet is NOT the place to go. There is no mercy on the internet. Nbgt56’s response to hearing this guy’s sob story was to immediately harass him about it. This guy never stood a chance. He kept trying to respond but, like any other cyber bully, Nbgt56 was not one to be so easily subdued. Aryan and I just couldn’t watch it anymore and called Nbgt over to chat with us. We were asking him how his day was going and he responded with more exclamations of attraction, this time for Aryan as well as me. I’m not the person to feed into this so when I turned down Nbgt’s second proposal of marriage, he responded by lighting me on fire (but not really, he just started a fire where I was sitting. It couldn’t actually hurt me).

In addition to this bullying madness one of the frog guys from that frog parade was there, all dressed up and looking downright froggy. I told him I remembered him from before and when a group of people do something that great with their RS time, you should always give them a little positive feedback. You know, just to make an attempt at increasing the internet-friendliness ratio.

Just a classy guy.

Top-level $WAG.

Also, if you didn’t notice in the image to the left here, Ricky also joined us. You can always tell it’s him due to the salmon-colored shorts. Oh, and he is literally ALWAYS hanging out around the Lumbridge courtyard talking to everyone. They should name an NPC after him, he’s so chatty. Oh, and who knew he had a bright pink mohawk under that feathered hat?!

Soon, Nbgt got bored of professing his love for Aryan and me so he left. Thank god. That guy was like a mosquito, always buzzing about back and forth. Every person that would come and stand next to us would be barraged by him, explaining how he “likes” Aryan and Potam. Kid. You better check yourself before you wreck yourself. If someone is ever causing this much chaos, you should really report them. They are the reason some of the RS people get such bad reputations.

I think tomorrow I will start questing again. I don’t want to overstay my welcome in Lumbridge, I don’t want to become a squatter. Oh, and I gotta keep it FRE$H.

 

 

Categories: f2p, Lumbridge, Range | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Today was a good day for ‘scaping.

I started out by going through some of the daily challenges. You may remember this from the time I buried however-many bones and got some monies. Well, today the challenges were to do the Burthrope obstacle course eight times, string eight short bows, and burn 10 Normal logs. CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.

Burning logs like a boss.

Burning logs like a boss.

Let’s just say, fifteen minutes later I was 3k gps richer and all sorts of experience levels were gained. After that it was kind of boring. I ran over to the Tree Gnome Stronghold to do that obstacle course over there.

Eventually I got bored and since I was in World 1 there were about 300 people mulling about doing their own thing. Off to World 3! Lumbridge was bumpin’! I popped in on a conversation where some girl was complaining about the phrase”YOLO.” I, of course, had to interject stating that it was alright to use the cliché if one were using it ironically. I think the topic came up because there was a guy there by the name of YOLO HOSE. I’m not sure if he meant is to be pronounced like “JOSÉ” or “HOSE” like the garden hose. We just called him YOLO. Someone was emoting themselves to throw sand at him while yelling “Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand!” It was good fun. Eventually, one woman named YogitheBear came up to me and actually thought I was funny. That’s right. Someone enjoyed what I had to say. It was a beautiful moment in Potam history. At one point in time people were mentioning their ages, YOLO was 19 and Yogi was 29. All of the sudden YOLO started getting all hostile toward Yogi. He was bashign her for being 29 and playing RS.

This was my exact facial expression.

What a punk! She can play whatever the hell she wants to. He told her to get a life but she had a husband and a daughter AND she worked full time. I asked YOLO to stop being a troll. Nobody messes with people who think I’m funny. I gotta defend my peoples, guys. He continued on being an ass even though Yogi continued to make valid points. He then tried to pull the, “I’m working so-many nights a week in addition to another job so even though you’re a mother and work full time, you’ve got nothing on me.” Is this kid for cereal?! I just… I can’t even… Ugh. Fine YOLO. I’ll do this dance with you, but I won’t enjoy it.

Ricky was there, too. If you don’t remember him from this post, he’s the salmon-colored short-wearing person with the feather in his hat. We’re bros. But, he forgot about me. Apparently I didn’t make enough of an impression on him. Damn.

Eventually Yogi got tired of YOLO’s pestering and left. YOLO, after finding out he had no one else to bully left as well. I really hope he’s dumb enough to follow someone into the Wildy. After that, the conversation died out until it was just Ricky and I hanging out. We had some pretty decent conversations for RS. I commented on his nice salmon Chubbies and he commented on the fact that I could speak articulately (sometimes a rarity in the gaming world). We were bros once more. I explained how I kinda-sorta knew him but he didn’t remember me because he frequents the populated worlds quite a bit and meets all sorts of people.

From left to right: MickellBerry, RoyalBlonde, Ricky, and Potam

From left to right: MickellBerry, RoyalBlonde, Ricky, and Potam
That random guy in the back never said anything.

I asked him about what his favorite conversation with someone was about an he told me it was about having a four-some with the NPC, Nastroth. Oh and once he found out I was a girl, without fail, he asked me what a vagina looked like. Classic. Real classic. I told him, “a mushy taco.” That shut hm up, real quick-like. Soon our conversation of two increased to three and then four with the addition of two gentlemen named RoyalBlonde and MickellBerry. We exchanged some friendly banter for some time until we decided to move from the left side of the Lumbridge castle gates to the right. There was an entirely new group of people over there having their own conversation oddly enough about tentacle porn. Yeah. RuneScape. Full of weird people talking about weird shit. All. Day. Long.

There was a guy with a giant hand on a stick. Like, what? Yeah.

There was a guy with a giant hand on a stick. Like, what? Yeah.

Soon we were having a party right there on the Lumbridge Castle lawn. There was Rudro12, bearman332 (who loved to talk about poop), Slendahhman, and I Luv Grama. (I asked her if “Grama” stood for grandma or grammar but she never clarified.) Ricky then asked me if I ever tried eating those scented erasers when I was a child, I said no but I did try chapstick. Apparently he was all about those scented candles. People are weird. Slendahhman then began talking about how masturbation was gross and Ricky chimed in saying he frowned upon it. All of the sudden some guy named Pyrastan walked over and was telling us about how he was hotboxing Lumbridge and then challenged everyone to see who was higher. I threw out an idea: whomever could say the most philosophical thing won. Immediately RoyalBlonde was claiming he was the “seeker of a magical placenta” and said, “I live in the placenta.” Well. That happened. Oh, don’t worry the night continues on its way with a guy dressed as a giant chicken named Delph4Jesus. He was imploring everyone to repent and make way for Jesus. After that I had to say goodnight. The chicken got me.

DA KR3W

DA KR3W

 

 

 

 

Categories: Agility, Burthorpe, f2p, Firemaking, Fletching, Lumbridge, p2p, Woodcutting | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Old school like the old school.

Still going strong since 2007.

Still going strong since 2007.

I had previously mentioned an Old School RuneScape, before the updates that have made the world what it look like now. When I say Old School, I mean the 2007 version. In order to give the readers a proper comparison, I’ve taken a journey there myself. (Keep in mind that if you have a Mac operating system this will not work: I had to use my boyfriend’s Windows 7 for this project.) Also, because I was on a PC, the screen shot capabilities were a little different and I apologize for their lack of quality.

Seriously, this is as basic as it gets.

Seriously, this is as basic as it gets.

Although this world has the same map, you need to begin from scratch. Well, almost scratch. You get to keep your name but since the graphics are so basic, it’s just better to re-do your outfit. But yeah, when it comes to skills you also have to start from zero but the 2007 version has it’s own Tutorial Island for you to visit; however, this one doesn’t take four freaking hours to finish. You literally mine some stuff, bake some bread, kill a rat, talk to a wizard and leave. Real complicated. Maybe this is why so many players petitioned to have the 2007 version brought back even if it was on a separate server.

Once I got past the Tutorial Island, I landed in Lumbridge where things have changed. There aren’t any lodestones here. If you wish to teleport you need to either be a high-enough mage or have the magic tablet specifically set to the destination you’de like to travel to.

Oh how the times have changed thee, Lumbridge.

This is just outside the entrance to the Lumbridge Castle courtyard.

I met up with ArcherySwag (Taylor) and he gave me one of these to go to Camelot. He showed me a new way to profit! This is only for members, if you wish to profit as an f2p player, I suggest the Beefy Bill formula. The key phrase here is: toad legs. There is a pond surrounded by toads just chilling on the ground. Here is the 11-step process to profit.

  1. Empty inventory.
  2. Journey to Swamp in the Tree Gnome Stronghold.
  3. Fill inventory with toads.
  4. Pull toads’ legs off. (Be careful because once you do this they become edible.)
  5. Run Southwest to Grand Tree Bank.
  6. Deposit legs.
  7. Repeat steps 1-6 as many times as you like.
  8. Walk/run/teleport to Grand Exchange.
  9. Withdraw legs in note form.
  10. Sell at Grand Exchange price.
  11. Profit.
Toads on toads on toads.

Toads on toads on toads.

It is really quite simple and the gameplay from these is extremely similar to what it is now. Or course, in my case, I had a friend show me the way so the process moved quite a bit faster than anyone else’s but regardless, get money, get paid.

Between the two so far, I have much more fun playing on the new edition just because I like the advanced graphics so much more. If you’re feeling vintage, by all means play the 2007 version but if you’re ready to so some business, take the RS2 route. Oh, and I guess if you have a Mac you’re kind of forced that way anywho. I don’t think I’ll be playing this version anytime soon unless Taylor’s there. Plus, Potam looks like a bell-bottomed hippie with orange dreadlocks.

Categories: Camelot, f2p, Lumbridge, p2p, The Grand Exchange, Tutorial | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Game with two friends! (Pt. 2)

The wall.

The wall.

Since we were a band of fairly high-leveled people (minus me, of course) we entered the Wilderness without fear of being killed by skeletons. If you just plan on running through the wilderness without stopping, make sure you turn your auto-attack off so if you start getting hit by those initial skeletons or grizzly bears, you can just run on by.

I let Alec and Taylor run in first. Those powerhouses mowed down practically every enemy (fine by me). The lowest level skeletons were level 46, still not really in my ball park. After running past the skeletons and bears, we kept heading North. Taylor was in the lead but he was kinda-sorta lost. Not a big deal.

Oh wait. What’s this? What does this guy think he’s doing? All of the sudden this guy named KillenLegend (skill: 1097)  starts attacking Alec. Remember what I said before about players hanging out in the Wildy? Yeah. That was this situation. Anyway those guys are going at it and it actually seemed like Alec was going to win for a while there until this asshat starts eating food. Alec being Alec forgot to stock up on food and only had a few lobsters. Well. He died. I couldn’t fight this guy but Taylor could! So, before he could pick up Alec’s stuff (the killer can see the stuff a full two minutes before the other players can so as to give them first dibs) Taylor starts shooting the heck out of him.

We thought we could wear him down... Oh were we wrong.

We thought we could wear him down… Oh were we wrong.

This guy get a big picture because this battle was epically disappointing. Anyways, Taylor is shooting him up big time, KillenLegend continues to eat. Taylor almost kills him but then he starts to run. Really?! This guy is making a run for it?! He was, what the gamers would call, a pussy (a coward). We pursued but he got out of range to the point where none of us were within an appropriate level distance to attack. Alec, by this point, was back in the game but he was putting on more armor from his bank so he wasn’t much help either. Oh, and he was repairing his dignity. Ah well, at least he could actually fight the guy. I could only stand there and yell numerous profanities at the punk. Just to be obnoxious I followed him all around Edgeville. He just kept telling me he’d kill my family. It was precious, truly precious.

Potam, A Man262, and ArcherySwag hanging out in the Wildy.

Potam, A Man262, and ArcherySwag hanging out in the Wildy.

After a few minutes, I had let him go. YOU WON THIS ONE, KILLENLEGEND.

Well, Alec re-equipped himself with this time he put on his wizard’s robes and brought his air staff and some runes. Maybe magic would work better than range for him. We re-entered the wilderness, this round making sure EVERYONE had food. While Taylor was trying to figure out where we were going we had to hide form some crazed grizzlies atop this hill to yon left.

Eventually, Alec got sick of waiting and took the lead, heading directly East for no apparent reason. We were stopped by a couple of chaos dwarves (level 68) put Alec and Taylor did away with them easily. I just was along for the ride. Soon, we came across some Moss Giants and one randomly spawning skeleton. I couldn’t take one down on my own but between the three of us we had them. The best thing about Moss Giants is that they drop big bones which you can either bury (They give off more Prayer xp than regular bones) or you can sell them on the GE as another way to profit. We began killing them faster than they could spawn so we left.

Taylor had a plan. There was a rune quarry not too far from there and here is what we’d do: sneak up on the people mining there, kill them, take their rune ore. Rune ore is expensive to buy and you need quite a high mining level to mine it so this is probably the most efficient way to acquire said ore. Only… there was one catch. When we arrived at the mine site there wasn’t anyone there.

Sad day. Us sitting by the two lone rune stones.

Sad day. Us sitting by the two lone rune stones.

Alas! We were left with nothing to do accept wander. We went as far North as we could in this f2p world but since Alec wasn’t a member (every party has its pooper) we couldn’t switch to a members world and enter. Saddy death day.

Back West, I guess was where we could go. (We had also gone too far East.) There were some greater demons . I couldn’t even hit them their levels were s high but dan-nabbit I could try! I think I hit one once. I mostly jsut walked around to the cape sellers. (NPCs that are spread throughout the Wildy selling capes. These capes can go for quite a pretty penny.) I bought about ten different capes. They look sweet!  Not long after going through a few greater demons, we all got bored and walked to this castle in the Wildy where the guards are super easy to kill and runes like to spawn all over the place.  By the time we got there it was getting pretty late so we all teleported back into the regular world. Keep in mind that after a certain point in the wilderness you cannot teleport anywhere. I went back to Lumbridge and that is where we ended our session.

Categories: Edgeville, f2p, Lumbridge, Mining, Prayer, Range | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Dealings with weird people and frog armies.

My computer was lagging hard.

My computer was lagging hard.

Now with those lodestones all activated I’m going to try and talk to some more people. I began this session in World 2, a member’s world. If you remember from my last post how I mentioned the place to be for members is the GE alas I teleported to Varrock and ran North to the Grand Exchange. If I could compare this place to an irl (“in real life”) location it would have to be the New York Stock Exchange. There is this constant chatter amongst people looking to buy and people looking to sell. Some people are more calm than others, while some are cursing with the very limited vocabulary they possess.  There are also the spectators in the corner and that is where I headed.

They were in a group of about seven or eight. Some were flaunting their levels like they were young men comparing the sizes of their dicks.

These guys were not very friendly.

These guys were not very friendly.

One guy was offering to lend out his santa hat (A super rare item Jagex only dropped on Dec. 25th, 2002. Worth about 122,213,043gp through the Grand Exchange.). I had never “lent” anything to anyone before, only permanently traded so I asked him how to “lend” something. his response was to completely ignore my question and just throw snowballs at me. Jerk.

There was another guy exclaiming if anyone could guess where his name came from, he’s give them something. His name was The Fuschino. Some girl got it and (you’ll only get this in a member’s world) he just up and gave her 5million gp. Jeez, I guess I need to brush up on my pop culture references.

Over by one of the cabanas there was a man named Nibisho looking for junk because apparently he was scammed.

Poor, naïve Nibisho.

Poor, naïve Nibisho.

This shocked me mostly because he was such a high level and usually if you’re that experienced you know your way past a simple scam. I was chit-chatting with him when another player, strfire75, came up and began harassing Nibisho with insults and then flaunting his skill levels (which were not very high for the experience he was claiming to have).   Nibisho ran to the bank and came backa  few seconds later with a giant carrot-potato looking thing of which he proceeding to smite strfire75. In response strfire75 threw confetti on him. It was a mighty battle.

I think, once the carrot was brought out, any negativity was deemed pointless because from that point forward the whole thing was one big joke. After a few more minutes of conversation, a player named Ryeezyyy traded Nibisho a cape and about 30k, seriously, what a nice guy.

Any malcontent was dissolved immediately.

Any malcontent was dissolved immediately.

If I wasn’t just starting out myself, I’d have donated as well. After Nibisho left, I wandered around from pack to pack eavesdropping on the conversations of others. Everyone seemed to have their own name for things and the vernacular wasn’t always easy to follow. If you find yourself in this situation, use this as a guide.

Eventually I got bored in this intimidating member’s world where all people do is throw snowballs at you and throw money away like it’s nothing. I transferred over the World 3, a f2p world where the place to be is Lumbridge Castle. The people there were doing their own thing, telling stories about how they were thrown in jail or about how their best friend is racist. Nice, light small talk. Well, there I was just chilling in the courtyard when a procession of frogs wearing capes and carrying kites walked by. There were like twenty of them, all dressed the same and all following one another. They did about three passes around the castle and then they left.

Dafuq?

Dafuq?

I took that as my sign to leave. I had nothing in my inventory. I hadn’t gained any levels. I hadn’t even earned any more money. Although this session may have been rather unproductive for my character, I definitely had some interesting interactions with some crazy people.

Categories: f2p, Lumbridge, p2p, Skills, The Grand Exchange, Varrock | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Breaking of the blood pact.

Screen Shot 2013-04-08 at 2.52.44 PM

UPDATE: They all sold within a day or two. I feel so rich!

I began today’s session by spinning what flax was left in my bank account into some more bow strings. Once finished, I teleported up to Varrock and on to the GE (Grand Exchange). If you’re ever in a highly populated free world, you might notice the vast amounts of people hanging out at the Lumbridge Castle. Well, in a highly populated Member’s world, the place to be is the GE. There were players everywhere bartering their wares in the chat box rather than in the bidder’s box. Anyways, I put all my bow strings up for sale and I should be making a pretty penny off them due to the fact that they’re going for 177gp a string.

I was getting a little restless at this time so I went to activate some more lodestones on my map.

Me fighting a mugger outside an Edgeville general store.

Me fighting a mugger outside an Edgeville general store.

Edgeville is the closest to Varrock so it didn’t take me too long. For a new player, going out on the open road can be dangerous considering there are muggers, bandits, bears, and al sorts of PCPs out to get the low-levels. After that was all said and done, it was questing time! I’ve started picking one at random to do and see where that takes me. Fortunately this time I didn’t have another deep desert issue: I got the blood pact. This quest is set in Lumbridge and is available to non-members so feel free to give it a shot. I began by talking to Xenia, a woman standing in the graveyard just south of Lumbridge.

The gig: three ruffians kidnapped a damsel in distress and were going to sacrifice her. Crazy cultists. So down into the catacombs we went. I wish I had brought some sort of melee weapon because that is what you need to fight the first guy. Xenia walked me through literally every step.

Poor girl. She never stood a chance.

Poor girl. She never stood a chance.

All the bad guys were level three so if you don’t feel safe fighting a few level threes, go kill chickens somewhere until you do; or follow what I do and stock up on food before entering any dungeon. (Hint: Eating and fighting is probably the wisest tactic you’ll ever learn.) I kicked their butts, saved the girl, and left the catacombs. The best part? I got to keep the weapons the characters were using: a serious charge bow improvement. In the building right next to the entrance to the catacombs there is a coffin. I opened it a disturbed an unruly ghost. For some reason I couldn’t interact with it.

After I quick teleported over to Draynor and head over to Falador in order to activate that lodestone. On my way, I stopped by the clan camp just below the southern Falador gates. There I received my new clan cape which portrays our two clan symbols: a wizards hat and a bow. The cape itself is purple.

Since I’ve kind of been on a roll with this whole lodestone thing, I went to activate the two I had left on the far west coast of the RS mainland (these are all in the member’s world).  Ardougne was simple enough since it was right south of Seers’ village without any obstacles in the way.

Those bats were real jerks.

Those bats were real jerks.

My adventure to Yanille was quite a bit more exciting. I passed some people chopping down yews and then I was out in the open. Oh, and I was being harassed by these crazy bats… level 57 bats. At one point there were three of them attacking me at the same time. I tried to fight them off as best I could but I only had 100 health points left I had to make a mad dash for it.

These bats were mage bats so they could hit you even while you’re running away. (Hint: when you go up against ranged opponents, give your health a little more wiggle room than you would when fighting a melee enemy.) 

I was struck twice during my attempted escape and just barely was able to make it to the nearest bank to withdraw all that beef I’ve been harvesting off my cow-profit system. Then I went back out there to show them batsies who’s boss…meaning me. Ten steaks and three bats later, I succeeded in activated that darned Yanille lodestone. ADVENTURE = SUCCESS.

Here is a shortcut through The Blood Pact, if you’re interested.

**Next post: be ready for some video! Or, at least an attempt!

Categories: Ardougne, Crafting, Defense, Edgeville, f2p, Falador, Lumbridge, p2p, Range, Seers Village, The Blood Pact, The Grand Exchange, Varrock, Woodcutting, Yanille | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Game with a friend.

This session we have a special guest, my very good friend, Archery Swag (a.k.a. Taylor). He is a member and one of the gentlemen who got me started in RS back in high school. He’s been a member for a while now so he is a little more advanced than I am when  it comes to knowledge. He and my other character MaggieMayy1, founded our own clan: The Mafia Knitting Club. Well, since I wasn’t really participating all that much in my other grammatically impaired clan, I bailed and joined The Mafia Knitting Club.

#SuperSick

#SuperSick

Sorry, Red Dragans; I have officially moved on to greener pastures.

Perks to ‘Scaping with a friend:

  • Leveling advice.
  • You’re not just someone playing alone in your room.
  • You have a wingman.
  • Trade!
  • Dungeoneering opportunities.
  • The wilderness buddy system.
  • Dueling arena.
  • Dance parties!

And the list goes on…

Taylor goes to Michigan Tech and surprised me by being in Bemidji on Friday. (My friends and I play a nation-wide game of tag and he came and tagged me as well as stayed for the weekend.) This is why my posts are late. We played RS for a little while too and this was the perfect opportunity to have a great gaming session.

Right about this time, I had officially given up on the old quest. I wasn’t leveling up fast enough and I was ready to do exploring elsewhere. The best part about RS quests is the fact that you can leaven whenever you want and when you come back you can pick right back up where you left off. Someday, I’ll return but not this day.

Potam, Achery Swag, and Archery Swag's overgrown cat killing cows.

Potam, Achery Swag, and Archery Swag’s overgrown cat killing cows.

Although my imp robes were cool, we decided I needed some legitimate range armor. My defense isn’t high enough so I’m stuck with leather for now. We hopscotched our way over to Beefy Bill’s pasture. (Hint: the fastest way to get to Beefy Bill’s pasture is via  Draynor lodestone.) We were killing cows left and right until both of our inventories were full of cow hides. then, up to Varrock we went to have them tanned. I accidentally had them tanned into hard leather so the only things I could craft were more hard leather gloves. Fantastic. The hard leather gloves I had made before still hadn’t sold on the Grand Exchange so I doubt these would but I put them up for sale anyway. Now, I needed to level up my crafting skill so I could make better armor. I was about to return to Beefy BIll’s when Taylor mentioned flax farming. There is a flax farm just South of Seers’ Village. (This is in the p2p world.) I needed to activate those lodestones still so I teleported the Taverly and then had to walk the rest of the way.

Taylor has his own 14-step system to profit:

This is flax.

This is flax.

  1. Fill inventory with flax.
  2. Run North of Seers Village bank.
  3. Bank all flax.
  4. Repeat steps 1-3 until satisfied.
  5. Fill inventory one more time.
  6. Teleport to Lumbridge.
  7. Go to the second floor.
  8. Spin flax into bow strings at the spinning wheel there. (Crafting)
  9. Go to third floor bank.
  10. Exchange bow strings for more flax.
  11. Repeat steps 7-10 until out of flax.
  12. Go to Grand Exchange.
  13. Sell all bow strings.
  14. Profit.
Simple enough.

Simple enough.

We did that a couple of turns until Taylor told me about some fancy boots, I think they’re called “boots of lightness” or something along those lines. They increase your stamina as well as make you faster. You see, the more things you carry the slower you go and the worse your stamina; these boots fix that. The location of these boots were in this crazy dungeon and we had to buy candles and light them first in order to see. I was attacked by bats on the way down there but once my combat level gets high enough these pests shant be an issue. I had to claw through some spider webs but I got the boots! I haven’t noticed any difference but that’s because I don’t carry much to begin with.

After we got out of that dark place we returned to our flax farming. However, we were stopped along the way by this bouncing box-thing. I bought a ticket and entered. I was greeted by a circus set-up and three options. I chose the range course where I had to shoot at certain targets at different distances. I hit the first few but I missed most of them. Fortunately, I still got a bunch of xp from it so all was well.

My kitteh.

My kitteh.

Then, Taylor and I decided I needed a cat. I had seen other members with pets and I wanted one but didn’t know how. Taylor had a cat so he knew the ropes. I had to complete this Gertrude’s Cat quest, as long as it wasn’t as complicated as that desert quest, sign me up! Off to Varrock we teleported. This time we check the wiki first. I needed a sardine and a bucket of milk. You can buy both at the Grand Exchange and soon I owned both. (Hint: make sure you go to the back of Gertrude’s house and pick some of the Doogle weed to rub on the sardine!) One saved cat later, I had my own little kitten! You have to feed and pet it, like any other real cat otherwise it will run away. Time to test my nurturing skills.

To end our session, we returned to Lumbridge to finish our flax spinning, this time with our feline companions!

 

Categories: Crafting, Defense, f2p, Gertrude's Cat, Lumbridge, p2p, Seers Village, Smelting, Taverly, The Grand Exchange, Tourist Trap, Varrock | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

The deep desert is still not fun.

Alright guys, I finally got out of that darned desert prison and moved forward in the quest…only to reach yet another road block. It all began when I forced myself to look at things from a different angle. For one, the only PCPs in there were slaves and guards. I couldn’t pose as a guard, I couldn’t fight the guards (they were combat level 50 while I’m a measly combat level 31), so the only option I had was to look like a slave. The one time I wasn’t apprehended by the guards was when I was picking at some of the copper outside so maybe it was when I was wielding my weapons?

BINGO.

AHH YEHH!

I unequipped all of my armor (except for those fancy-shmancy desert robes) and I finally could walk among the peoples of the miner camp unhindered by those rapscallion guards. Hmmm, now what.  continued to look around and I found a couple of key on the table outside my cell: one for the main gate and one for my cell. I went outside and started talking to people again, starting with the slaves. I soon came across one particular male slave who was just so planning a grand escape and needed some help. It took me a couple of tries but I got his handcuffs off and then we were going to trade clothes. (I needed to disguise myself as a slave, disgusting robes and everything to get into the underground mine where I was to find that woman’s daughter.) I thought I was all good and then this male slave decided to get picky; apparently he wanted the entire set of robes. I didn’t have the robe bottoms, only the shirt. Well, fine! Sheesh. I guess you can only try to escape once, so you better do it right.

Since I had the main gate key, I returned to Al Kharid to buy a robe bottom only thing is, is that I couldn’t find one. It took me ages but I finally realized there was a guy named Shantay right next to the entrance to the entrance to the desert. I had walked right past him… Sweet.

So, with my full set of robes I returned to the slave and traded with him. He moved on to freedom as I headed down into the mines, around a labyrinth of slaves to a prison guard who required I bribe him with a certain pineapple. REALLY?! COME ON. This girl is definitely NOT worth all this effort. Seriously.

Those are my slick slave robes. I'm bringing 90s grunge back.

Those are my slick slave robes. I’m bringing 90s grunge back.

Alas, I digress.

Out of the mines I go to the Tenti peoples and attempt to get this “special” pineapple. Well, of course they have something for me to do first. They need some top secret plans hidden away in a chest in the miners’ camp. I need to get them and build this ultimate weapon. COOL, GUYS. Soon enough I’m back at the miner’s camp talking to the captain, trying to distract im enough to let me into that chest. This is one of those parts where you may try everything, multiple times and it still won’t work. Dig deep, everyone, you’ll get through this. I told him there was a Fire for about the fifth time and he finally took me seriously and got a bit worried. BOOM. THOSE PLANS ARE MINE, YOU FOOL.

Alright now back to the Tentis with the plans. Oh, now they want me to build it because they can’t. Ok, so you want these plans that aren’t yours to build a weapon that you don’t have the skills to make… Seems legit. I agreed to build their weapon for them because I guess I don’t have anything better to do.

Check it.

Check it.

Now, I need at least twenty feathers and a bronze bar. I had to return to Shantay to buy some more stuffs, only this time I travelled my magic carpet. I bought the feathers however, he was all out of bronze bars. Ugh.

Lumbridge has a copper and tin mine just South of it so I teleported over there and went to mine some ore, smelted it, and returned via magic carpet to the Tentis. Fortunately they had an anvil that I could use oh but wait, I wasn’t a high enough smelting level to make this weapon.

My thought process:

  • Well, f*** it. That girl can die for all I care.
  • Alright no, come on. I need to level up anyway.
  • Fine.
  • Off to the Burthrope mines!

Thus begins the tedious process of raising my smelting level.

(Hint: before you begin any quest, check the RS wiki to see what you’ll need. Please, for your sanity’s sake.)

 

Categories: Al Kharid, Burthorpe, f2p, Lumbridge, Mining, p2p, Quests, Smelting, Tourist Trap | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

The deep desert is not fun.

Wares officially bartered.

Wares officially bartered.

After Potam acquired her imp hide robes but she still had all those leather items in her bank. What do we do when we have an exceptional amount of items? We sell them! Sell them all! So, I teleported to the Varrock and headed to the Grand Exchange to barter my wares. Unfortunately none of these items are in particularly high demand so it will take some time to sell all of them.

Alright, moving on.

I was getting kind of tired of the whole Lumbridge/Varrock scene so after teleporting back to Lumbridge I headed south, out of Lumbridge, and then west over a bridge into Al Kharid, a desert city. I explored a bit and learned the castle there is on lockdown. You can’t get in anywhere but you can kill the guards if you’re bored but there really isn’t much else you can do to interact with the castle itself.

It is very beige there.

It is very beige there.

I moved on the rest of the city and activated the lodestone. The city itself is not very big but there are places to buy scimitars (Hint: this is the prime weapon for any melee-focused character), plate legs, or plate skirts. (You know, in case you want to look feminine when you’re killing goblins.) There ar also the Al Kharid games you can look into. Personally, I’ve always viewed these as a perfectly good waste of time and gp but whatever floats your goat. If you’re in need of snacks, there is a Kebab shop where you can buy…wait for it… kebabs for one gp. Kebabs are meant to be a bit risky though. Sometimes they can give you 300 health points while other times they can give you nothing. In addition to giving you health points, if you get a spectacularly delectable kebab it can even raise some combat stats whereas a putrid kebab can lower stats.

From there I headed south to where there was an alcove with a bank chest and from there I couldn’t go any further south without receiving this message (for f2p players, you shall not pass):

Psh.

Psh.

Obviously I clicked “Proceed Regardless” because I’m not afraid of anything and into the desert I ventured. To the right of this gate there was a weeping damsel in distress. Me, being the good samaritan that I am, asked her what was the matter and apparently her daughter had gone into the desert and NOT RETURNED. GASP.

THE QUEST HAS BEGUN.

I was told to follow some footsteps heading south and sure enough there were some footsteps in the sand clear as day.

It's like they wanted me to see them or something.

It’s like they wanted me to see them or something.

So, I followed said footsteps to a band of miners guarding some sort of gate. I sweet-talked my way (meaning I paid one miner five gp) into telling me how to get past the gate. apparently the guard captain had a key on him but he wasn’t going to let me in, of all people, unless I found some guy named Al Zaba Bhasim (possibly hiding in the west *hint*hint*wink*wink*), captured him, and brought him back to the head guard. All of the sudden I lost about three fourths of my health. I looked in my chat box: I guess we need waterskins to hang out in the desert. Who knew? Well, I certainly didn’t. I had maybe 100 health left out of 500 so I had to book it back to Al Kharid to buy some (4) waterskins. (Hint: you can buy them from the guy next to the guy selling game stuffs.) I also bought a desert shirt, boots, robe, a fake beard, and a turban. If you combine your turban with your fake beard it makes a desert disguise. I don’t know what it’s supposed to be used for but I put it on anyways, just in case.

So, with my sweet desert disguise and my waterskins I journeyed back to the desert, to the miners’ camp, and west to find that Al Zabadoobeedoo guy and return him to the hands of justice! Soon enough I found a camp and in the centermost tent was the tent-dwellers’ leader who told me that man doe not exist. I had to return to the captain, insult him for not fighting his own battles and then we fought. It took some time and a kebab but eventually I killed him, and look at that! He dropped a key!

Me in my desert garb.

Me in my desert garb stuck in my cell.

There I took the key, got in through the gate and I wasn’t in there a minute before some guards caught me and threw me in jail. Great.

I’ve tried to escape time and time again but to no avail. I’ve bent the bars, gone outside, talked to all the slaves, the cart drivers, and even the camel. I’ve checked all the crates and even snuck up to the second floor of the prison and talked to the captain. I tried to convince him there was a fire in the lower mines and instead of sounding the alarm I ran to save him first but I got nowhere. Oh, and I was caught and roughed up by some guards at least ten times whilst completing these tasks. I’m officially stuck. I guess I’ll have cave and check the wiki. Or maybe not… no matter how many times I get thrown back into jail, I will find a way! I promise you that! By the way, I’m down to one waterskin so I better figure this out soon or I’m going to die. Cool beans.

Categories: Al Kharid, f2p, Lumbridge, p2p, Quests, The Grand Exchange, Varrock | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Hides on hides on hides.

So I started out today in the Grand Exchange. I checked my “Collection” box and all my items had sold. Yay! Monies! From there , I wasn’t in a very populated world so I decided to focus on my skill levels for this session. I teleported to the Varrock lodestone and made my way south to Beefy Bill’s cow pasture to follow my ten-step cow-killing system. In my chat box I noticed the daily challenge was to bury 12 bones. Well, easy enough for someone who was going to be burying bones anyway and twelve cows later the challenge was mine!

Challenge = Success

Challenge = Success

I had to Google who and where the Imperial Guard Quartermaster ( the IGQ) was (he’s in Burthorpe, by the way). So, I teleported to the Burthorpe lodestone (North of Taverly, this lodestone was automatically activated during the tutorial stages.) and headed South to his little hut/shack looking thing.

Maybe it's more of a lean-to?

Maybe it’s more of a lean-to?

I don’t really understand how it all worked but I do know I leveled up in Prayer, so that’s a good thing. I believe the Daily Challenge is a members only thing since Burthorpe is in a Members only zone. Sorry, free players. The cape you see in the screen shot was a drop from a troll I killed upon teleporting into Burthorpe. This gave me an idea. Since I was already collecting imp hides wouldn’t it be super sweet if I could make my own full imp-hide robe set? YES. YES IT WOULD.

Right next to the IGQ’s tent there is a chest that doubles as a bank. I went in, got all my imp hides out and lo and behold my crafting level wasn’t high enough. Well, great. To even make imp hide gloves I had to be at least level 10.  So, I gave up on that idea and decided to go adventuring throughout the p2p world. Southward, Will Robinson, Southward!

I didn’t make it out of Burthorpe when I passed a cow pasture and a higher level guy with a thorny whip just killing cows for kicks. He wasn’t even picking up any of the drops. Well, I guess once you get to level 100-something cow drops are menial.

Hides on hides on hides.

Hides on hides on hides.

Lightbulb! In order to get your crafting level up you need to craft things. The easiest thing to craft was leather: this guy was not picking up any of the cow hides (which, if you don’t know, can be tanned into hard or soft leather). BOOM. I went back to the bank-chest, emptied my inventory, headed to that small pasture and began my hide-farming.

If you don’t remember from your Tutorial stage, there is a man two steps North or so of this pasture who is more than willing to tan thine hides for you. So, once I had filled my inventory I walked over, had them tanned and I began my crafting expeditions. At first I would only make leather gloves, but as I leveled up I graduated to boots, then chaps, then eventually shields. In order to make a complete imp-hide robe set, I had to get all the way level 20 so I had to make at least 100 shields but in the end it was all worth it!

This is Jack Oval. He's pretty neat.

This is Jack Oval. He’s pretty neat.

To make imp hide robes you need more than just a certain level and the hide itself; you also need thread. I don’t know how I had it but when I checked in my bank, I did! This is why I advised to always keep everything you find for at least the first forty combat levels or so. As you can see in the screen shot to the left, I had already made an imp hide hood along with some imp hide gloves and boots. Already my outfit was looking #SuperSick. I added to hashtag to make it more douchey-sounding because that is what anyone would immediately think when they see someone running around with a bright red hood with horns on it.

Unfortunately, I soon ran out of imp hides and I had to go searching for more imps to brutally murder for their skin. I hadn’t really noticed too many imps around the Taverly/Burthorpe areas in the hours I had spent there but I do remember seeing a couple scuttling about in Lumbridge. 1-2-3  and I teleported to Lumbridge. (See how convenient these dang lodestones are?)

Red mist.

Red mist.

Well, apparently my observations were spot on because the second I arrive, there is an imp right there! Silly imp. Twenty minutes later I had all the hides I needed and viola, my robes were complete. Usually robes will enhance your magic powers but I don’t really care right now because they look cool. Something I noticed when I was leveling my crafting, I gained the ability to make spider silk things.

Well, I’m glad I had been picking up all those spider drops because when I checked my bank on the third floor of Lumbridge castle, I had a few spider silks. They needed thread as well but I got the complete set done. Now I have two sets of robes! However, when I went to try that set on, it wouldn’t let me because I apparently I need to have at least level 20 defense. Ugh. Sorry, peoples, I couldn’t try them on for you. I know for a fact you do not need to be a member to wear imp hide robes so go all out and make your character look awesome!

Next up: The combat triangle and a quest through the desert.

Categories: Burthorpe, Crafting, Defense, f2p, Lumbridge, p2p, Prayer, Quests, Taverly, The Grand Exchange, Tutorial, Varrock | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

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